


A ghost of a chance...

by Ashratherose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Non-descriptive mentions of abuse, Teen Eren, disfunctional homelife, i don't wanna tag tooo much, older levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 03:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8952859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: Eren's life was crap but finally he's gotten a chance living somewhere better. Everyday he'd told himself things will get better.When he moves in with a handsome older stranger it seems indeed things are getting better.





	1. Chapter 1

Flicking the ash from his cigarette he watched as the taxi pulled up to the front curb. Stepping forward he stooped to snag his bag before heading out the door. He would have called back a goodbye but there was no point, it wasn't that the house was empty but rather no one there wanted him or would even miss him.

He paused and dropped his key by the door before walking out and closing it for good. He'd never return.

As he strode across the neat front door he dropped the still burning cigarette, he didn't even bother to stub it out, instead he continued to the taxi.

The driver had watched the teens moved and had already popped the boot for him. It wasn't like his bag was big but he didn't want the driver to look at it. It wasn't like he had any secrets, he just wanted some privacy for the first time in his life.

Giving the driver the address he closed his eyes as the car pulled out. 

The teen felt his phone vibrate and grabbed it from his hoodies pocket.  
Mikasa - his sister.  
M: Are you already gone? God you're so fucking selfish, you didn't even say goodbye. Ungrateful or what!

Yeah because he was the family fuck up. He reminded himself once again things would change now and opened up Mikasas contact page, scrolling to the bottom he found what he was looking for. Block contact. He didn't hesitate and then proceeded to do the same with his fathers number.

Things would be different. He would be different.

*  
It seemed to take forever to pull up in front of the white Victorian styled house. Paying the driver he retrieved his bag from boot before watching the taxi drive away.

His heart pounded and his palms were sweating. Pulling out another cigarette he sat down on the curb before lighting it. The rush of nicotine soothed his shattered nerves. He scolded himself once again he repeated silently that things were going to change.

Even though the cigarette was only half smoked he threw it into the gutter before standing. Bag in hand he tried to push out some form of confidence as he walked up the small stone path to the house. 

*  
Before he could stretch his hand out knock the door opened, he gritted his teeth as its ancients hinges screamed in protest.

The man in front of him was exactly like he remembered: slightly short with pale skin and grey eyes that seemed to stare right through. He offered a nervous smile and the man stepped aside so he could step in.

He'd only been here once before, back when he'd first met with the man to organise renting a room. But he had fallen in love with the house the moment he'd stepped into its cool darkness.

It was a house with age and character, it was like the building had a soul. He supposed most people would find that a stupid thing to say but he hated the carbon copy feel of buildings today. Old buildings like these were truly special.

Following the man they walked into the front lounge room. He loved the soft blue tones that blended in almost seamlessly with the wallpaper feature wall. The whole room was beautifully and simply furnished and the only thing that stood out of place was the addition of a large screen plasma in one corner.

Pulling himself back to reality he realised his new land lord was frowning, quickly he explained he'd been lost in the beauty of the room. This earned him an annoyed smirk but his new landlord repeated what he'd missed.

Reaching into his bag he pulled out the rent money he'd saved. Part of it was from cash jobs but most of it was what he'd managed to steal from his father over the years. He felt he'd more than earned it given what his father had put him through and didn't hesitate as he passed the wad over.

$3000 or so 30 weeks worth of rent at a rate of $100 a week. He would also need to chip in for bills but that wasn't until they'd received the first one and could calculate the rise since he'd moved in.

At the time when he'd first met his landlord he'd wondered why the room hadn't been rented, he'd been told everyone in this neighbour hood was scared off by the history of the house and no one had even bothered to reply to his ad until the teen contacted him.

He didn't pry into the houses history. Just because he felt these older houses had a soul it didn't mean they were alive. It didn't matter to him as long as he had a roof over his head.

Shaking his head to clear his mind he looked down at the papers in front of him. A contract between him, Eren Jeager, and his new landlord, Levi Ackerman. Confidently he signed.

Rising from the sofas he let himself be lead once again threw the house.  
When they reached the door to the basement he was forced to stop. He struggled desperately against the rising panic at the thought of entering the room. Closing his eyes he reopened them to find Levi's face dangerously close to his, he half jumped back and Levi frowned. "Claustrophobia" he weakly offered. He hoped the man wouldn't see through his lie.

The truth was something about basements reminded him of his father. His father had never abused him anywhere other than his bedroom. Outside that room he'd played the perfect role of a loving devoted man, a mask that was never cracked by the monster inside. But still there was something about the cold darkness and air of mystery associated with a basement that reminded him of his fathers heart.

Levi was still frowning.  
"The washing machine and dryer are in the basement"  
Eren nodded embarrassed by his own weakness. Quickly he offered an exchange of services, he'd do any and all jobs as long as it meant not going down there. He didn't miss the way Levi sighed but still his landlord agreed and the teen let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.

He followed Levi through the kitchen, like the exterior it was painted the same white with brown trim, although dated Eren found it perfect. A sun room connected to the kitchens end door, it was filled with plants but all of them were in various stages of dying, he wondered if Levi would mind him trying to revive what he could, he always loved plants. He opened his mouth to ask but Levi cut him off  
"If you're going to smoke do it in here, just open a window and no pot"  
Eren nodded, he hadn't actually mentioned being a smoker to Levi but he supposed he must smell like cigarettes  
"This garden belonged to someone who meant the world to me, but now they're gone... I'd appreciate if you respected this"  
Eren nodded, he brushed past Levi to take a closer look. Parsley, Sage, Basil and Thyme all clumped together rotting in the concrete planter. The soil looked dry and it seemed to Eren that even if Levi loved this room he hadn't even bothered with it.  
"Do you want me to replace these?"  
Levi raised an eyebrow and Eren didn't know how to interpret the move, instead he was still waiting on an answer as Levi turned and walked back through the kitchen.

Silently Eren followed.

Pausing at the front lounge room Eren retrieved his bag and allowed Levi to lead him up the wide staircase. He tried not to be impressed but everything in this house was so perfect. He smiled when they reached his room, Levi had hung a name plate on the door, the kind you'd expect for a children's bedroom.

Last time he'd been here he hadn't be able to see the actual room and it was almost shocking how perfectly it suited him. Various shades of sharp colours filled the senses and contrasted sharply against the whole vibe of the house. It was the kind of room he had only imagined.

Levi bid him farewell, informing him dinner would be at 6 if he was hungry. He nodded and thanked the man before sinking down into the patterned bedspread. He waited until the door clicked closed and the threw himself backwards. This was all like a dream and he kept expecting to wake up.

He'd never thought he'd get out that house alive. Mikasa had no clue what went on behind the closed bedroom door and he was grateful at least the same hadn't been done to her. He shook his head to dispel the chain of thought before it swallowed him. Instead he thought of Levi and his grey eyes.

Eren didn't understand the man, he clearly tried to present himself as a clean cut man who had no time for foolish actions but Eren wondered if that was really Levi at all. Even if he'd only met the man twice he could tell from his eyes alone he was kind and gentle, his face may be covered with a harsh mask but if you watched close enough you could read every emotion. He wanted to know more about this man.

He sighed at the internal revelation. It wasn't as if he didn't know he preferred men, it was what had triggered his fathers nightly abuse episodes after all. But he couldn't afford to let himself fall for his landlord and wind up homeless when it all fell apart.

In this moment he felt much older than 18.

He pulled out his phone to distract his spinning mind. 6:03pm. He frowned and slipped from the bed, it had been a little after 11 when he'd first arrive and unless he'd fallen asleep without realising it there was no way it could be so late.

"Eren...!"

He could hear the faint call of Levi's voice drifting up from below. Shit. He was late already for dinner... what a great way to start his first night here.

He rubbed his face and pinched his cheeks before retracing his earlier steps back through to the kitchen.


	2. 2

His heart was pounding as he took his seat across from Levi. He didn't know what to make of the candles that flickered illuminating this half the room, there were clearly overhead lighting and yet Levi had chosen candles... it reminded him of those restaurants you'd see in movies, right down to the glass of red to his left and the plate of pasta in front of him.

Despite his own discomfort Levi seemed relaxed and unphased, Eren supposed this was his usual routine. But still he secretly enjoyed the thrill of the almost date like atmosphere.

As they ate Levi made polite conversation, he asked about the courses Eren would be taking when term started, the things he was into, if he worked etc. Even though he did most of the talking Eren revelled in the moments of Levi's voice. It was beautiful and carried well, much like Levi. Again he had to scold himself not to fall in love with his man.

Eren suppressed his curiosity and allowed Levi to question him today without posing any questions of his own, he had plenty of time to get to know the man.

When they'd finished Levi removed the dishes and Levi dismissed him for the night, saying he liked to keep a clean house so he would do the dishes himself. Eren felt guilty. The meal had been more than good and now he was being given the night off from clean up.

Retreating back to his room he once again sprawled over the bedspread, his fingers brushed the coloured cover as he searched out his phone.

11:24pm.

He frowned, once again he could have sworn dinner (while as enjoyable as it had been), had lasted maybe an hour not 5. Time seemed to move differently in this house.

Forcing himself up he moved across to where he'd placed his bag earlier and began to sort through until his fingers brushed against the small bottle of pills. Sleeping tablets.

Eren hated the night, he'd been long stripped of any potential to love it like some. It was at night his father came for him. It was at night the walls would close in and the monsters came out. At night he was trapped alone in his terrors and this went doubly so for the nightmares that called themselves dreams.

He'd wondered if he should warn Levi about his night terrors but thought he should be fine if he was completely drugged out. Popping 2 pills he swallowed them dry and stripped before climbing into bed. He couldn't suppress the moan that fell from his lips. This bed was the closest heaven he'd ever get in this life at least.

Soon his eyes grew heavy and he let himself relax into sleep.

*  
He was dreaming again, he knew this dream and had lived it over and over. He never knew the house he was in or why he was even there only the fear that made his whole body shake. He was running for his life and knew he wasn't going to survive. Every time he'd open a small door and run down the stairs behind it. Every time he'd miss the second last step and fall hard grazing his hands and knees. Every time he'd hear heavy steps growing closer as his persuer. Every time he'd beg for his life and every time he'd feel the knife slide into his skin. He'd feel it's coldness knock and cut and taste the blood that filled his mouth.

Over and over. The dream wouldn't change and he couldn't escape.

He woke up screaming.

His body was damp with sweat and his eyes wide in panic. It was always like this. Reaching out with shaking fingers he turned the bedside lamp on.

He tried to calm his breathing but soon it hitched again as his bedroom door creaked open. Instinctively he shrunk away only relaxing when he realised it was Levi.

Levi with what seemed to be a steaming cup. He said nothing as he walked over and handed Eren the delicate china cup. Eren willed his shaking hands to stop. Taking a cautious sip he let the smooth tea fill his mouth before smiling. It was good.

Levi stood and watched as he drank and Eren tried not to feel so self conscious. Finishing the tea he passed the cup back to Levi before thanking him. He'd expected Levi to at least question why he was screaming, instead Levi smiled almost sadly and left him to himself.

*  
The days seemed to melt into each other. He'd started his classes at the local community college and already begun fixing things around the house. Levi never said anything but Eren didn't mind, it kept his mind busy.

Every night he dined with Levi and bit his bit he'd fallen more for the man despite his best attempts not to. Levi never spoke more than he had to and never minced his words. Even though he rarely smiled it seemed the last few days Eren had been seeing it more and more and Eren prayed Levi was falling for him too.

The night had been perfect and he'd still been smiling when his head hit the pillow. He wondered if it was truly ok to be this happy. He didn't even bother to take his pills tonight.

This proved to be a mistake.

Once again he'd woken screaming. He could still feel the pain of knife and tasted blood in his mouth. He soon realised he'd bitten his tongue while sleeping.

Eren didn't even hear Levi enter this time, he didn't even realise the man was there until he felt the bed dip. A cold hand fell upon his shoulder and he wiped away his tears.

Levi didn't push him to talk, instead he slid up next to Eren so they both had their backs against the headboard. Eren felt guilty for disturbing the man and even after Levi reassured him it was alright, it wasn't like he slept that much anyway.

Slowly he found himself starting to drift back to sleep.

*  
He left earlier than normal the next morning, he couldn't look at Levi after last night, well not until he'd sorted out his head space. He couldn't process peoples kindness towards him, he always waited for the betrayal.

Classes passed way to fast for Eren's liking and soon he found himself back in front of the no longer squeaking front door.

He didn't know what Levi did to fill in his days but he was always home when Eren returned, it was comforting to have someone to come home to.

Settling down in front of the plasma he flicked through the channels hoping to find something to lose himself in. Again he didn't hear Levi enter the room and hadn't realised he was there until he felt the sofa dip as Levi sat next to him. His breath caught and it took a moment to remember how to actually breathe.

Levi leaned back and Eren half sagged onto him, he hadn't meant to but the movement of the chair cushions had taken him by surprise, he went to slide off the man while offering a weak apology but Levi's cold hand halted his movement. So he let himself relax against the man.

*  
Dinner that night was almost sensual, he couldn't help but watch every move the older man made. The curve of his lips, the way he licked the his knife and fork, the way his Adam's apple bobbed with each swallow. He could feel the rising flush in his cheeks and couldn't help but shuffle uncomfortably as his arousal grew. Excusing himself he retreated to the confines of his own room.

2 weeks and he was already head over heals for this strange man.


	3. 3

Eren regretted his night the second he'd arrived home. He hadn't intended on drinking so much but the topic in class today had been family, a subject that was still too painful.

He stumbled slightly as he turned the key, he'd tried to be quiet given the late hour but soon dissolved into a fit of giggles. Biting his lip he pressed into the darkness.

The giddy happiness that came from pleasant drunk buzz fell away and his heart began to pound. Staggering slightly he fell to his knees, fingers thrust into his chocolate hair. He couldn't breath and his world was spinning. He didn't notice the hot tears that had begun to slide down his face. He was too lost in his own mind.

He struggled at the darkness that crept across his vision but soon couldn't help but succumb.

*  
He felt so warm and comfortable when he finally awoke. He squirmed slightly trying to recapture the feeling. It was then he realised he wasn't alone. Panicking he pushed away from the warm body in front of his. His panic level shot sky high. In that moment he was with his father all over again.

"Eren...? Eren!"

He forced his eyes open and tried to focus on the voice calling his name.

Levi? Why was Levi in bed next to him.  
Tears began to run with relief. His hand came up and clutched at Levi's shirt, he was desperate for the comfort even though he knew better.

He felt the older man tense before sliding in closer and pulling the teen to his chest. Eren let himself sink into the embrace pushing past the initial discomfort of how cold Levi's body was. He felt a cold hand gently rub his back and tried to calm himself as his arousal grew. It was a terrible habit he had whenever he drank.

Pulling back from Levi's embrace he looked down into the smaller and eyes, he could see his own distress reflected within.  
"I'm sorry..."  
Levi shook his head smiling sadly again. Levi's hand slid from his back and up to cup his cheek, Eren nuzzled against its coldness. Why was this man so kind.

His heart stopped as Levi moved in and gently pressed a kiss to his lips, it was so very soft and sweet and Eren all but melted into it. He knew this shouldn't happen but needed the comfort and submitted completely.

Gentle kisses became hungry. Clothes were soon shed in an awkward rush. The coldness of Levi's skin only fuels Eren's desire to feel the mans heat. Shamelessly he moaned at Levi's ministerings.

Sex was slow and sweet and gentle, it was like Levi knew all his sweet spots.

The night passed in a gentle haze with both of them falling asleep as the gentle rays of morning filled the room.

*  
Upon waking Eren wondered if last night was a dream, Levi wasn't there and his skin was cold, not at all like the earlier heated fever. He shivered as he crawled from the bed, his hips ached and he flushed with embarrassment. He couldn't believe he'd slept with Levi. He stopped and tried to calm himself down. He shouldn't have done that.

How was he supposed to face him now. It had been hard enough when it's been a mere crush, but now his body knew the feel of Levi's touch and he wanted more.

His mind was still swirling as he showered. He should apologise to his landlord and cross his fingers he wouldn't be evicted over it.

Forgoing breakfast he hid away in the sun room with his sketchbooks and pencils. Absentmindedly he chain smoked as he sketched. Immersing himself in the world of scratchy colour.

He continued to sketch even as the day began to darken finally stopping when he could no longer see the page in front of him.

Walking through into the kitchen Levi was already seated at the table with dinner waiting. Eren was torn he wasn't sure what to do. Placing the sketch pad and pencils down he moved over to the sink and rinsed his hands before sliding down across from Levi. Neither talked as they ate. Eren found himself unable to look at Levi without his body beginning to tingle, desperate to be touched again. Panicking he pushed back from the table and ran from the room.

He hated the way his skin burnt in the places Levi had touched him, the way arousal bit at his senses. He hated himself for being so weak as to need comfort from the older man. 

He flopped down on the edge of the bed, closing his eyes and scrubbing his face with his hands. Maybe it was time to find some place new.

He felt the bed dip behind him and cold arms wrapped around him from behind. A gentle kiss was placed on his nape. It was the kind of action of a lover, but when he opened his eyes no one was there.

He let out a small sigh. Great now his mind was playing tricks on him.

Standing up he slowly began to strip, today had just been to much for his frayed nerves and he needed time to process.

*  
He was dreaming again but it was different this time. He was dreaming of the things his father had done to him. He dreamt the Mikasa had found out and disowned him in a fit of disgust, he dreamt his mother too had turned her back on him and then finally Levi. And then the dream twisted again and he was running for his life...

He felt a sharp slap across the face and it took a moment to realise he was no longer trapped in his dreams. 

Levi's face was hovering dangerously close to his, he shivered under the gaze of the mans grey eyes. Breaking the moment Eren looked down in shame, he wondered what Levi must think of him. He didn't know what to say.

Cold fingers caressed his face and wipes away the tears he didn't know he'd shed, Levi gently cupped his face and Eren allowed him to lift it towards him. He froze the moment Levi's lips met his, the man truly was so cold.

He closed his eyes and let himself fall into the kiss, he hated how after being so conflicted he seemed so desperate for the connection.

He let himself be guided by Levi's actions and shivered as the man stripped back the bedding. While his face burnt with embarrassment and desire, Levi remained calm and cool. 

Levi began to kiss him again and Eren surrendered completely, he let his hands wondered over Levi's form body and shamelessly spread his own legs as a hint for Levi to hurry up.

Gently Levi licked and kiss his skin the whole time chanting him name, as aroused as Levi seemed to be his voice seemed to contain a sort of sadness that Eren longed to kiss away.

The last time they'd had sex it had been so very soft and sweet but tonight Levi seemed completely different. It was like he'd flipped a switch. Mercilessly Levi thrust into him over and over, shamelessly he moaned. The sigh and feel of the shorter man shorted out all rationality and he couldn't stop himself moaning Levi's name with every movement.

The sex was almost desperate and they both came hard in a few minutes. 

As Levi pulled out and collapsed next to Eren the teen couldn't help but pull him closer, he was amazed that after an episode like that Levi's skin was still ice cold.  
"Your skin is like ice..."  
He joked as he wrapped himself completely over Levi in an attempt to warm him.

He didn't expect the tears that gathered unshed in Levi's eyes. His gut twisted.  
"No no no it's not a bad thing... it's almost like you're ghost or something..."  
He tried to joke and lighten the mood, the euphoria his orgasm had brought was fast slipping away.

Detangling himself Levi slipped from his grasp, pausing only long enough to retrieve his shed clothing.

Eren cursed himself, he'd obviously messed up somehow. Maybe Levi was a believer in such a thing and he'd accidentally insulted him? He didn't want things to escalate further and went to slide from the damp bed. He'd had every intention of following Levi until he actually moved and the pain in his hips hissed at him to stay still. 

He knew he was being a coward now but he told himself he'd wait until the pain had subsided... he let himself fall back to sleep.

*  
It was now March 26th, his birthday was 4 days away. This month had been so odd. He'd finally left home, he was living in his dream house with his dream bedroom, his landlord was hot and seemed into him and college was going well. For the first time in his near 19 years he could honestly say he was content with things.

Levi continued to appear when he least expected it, Eren could almost swear them small man was a magician, not that he really minded, he was always right there when Eren needed him.

Although he was by far from a great cook he was currently trying to make macaroni and cheese. It had all been going well, he'd only slightly dry boiled the past and you couldn't taste the burn in it so he counted it at a small win.

The problem came when he went to serve. One minute the pan had been over the bowl all aligned and the next he'd spilt it down his legs. Yelping from the burn his fingers had loosened their hold on the handle and the rest of the pot fell to join the mess on the floor. 

He stripped his now stained pants before stripping off his shirt after realising he'd messed up the hemming. Squatting down he used the dirty clothes to clean the mess up the best he could, after binning the ruined contents he dropped the pan into the sink and headed towards the basement to put his clothes in the wash.

As the door opened he'd started to panic, he scolded himself, this was reality not a dream. He flicked the switch and hurried down the stairs before he lost his nerves.

He hadn't expected to find Levi sitting in the basement corner, pouring over papers in his hands. Eren coughed to let him know he was in the small room but Levi paid him no mind. At the time he didn't even think to find it odd that Levi had been sitting in the dark. Pushing aside his thoughts he placed the soiled clothing in the machine and started the wash cycle.

He'd intended to leave Levi to his privacy but the man just looked so sad. Coming over he sat down cross legged and waited for Levi to acknowledge him.

From what he could see Levi was looking at different sketches, the look on his face told Eren just well loved they were.

"...Levi?"

Levi jumped and Eren half jumped from the action. Levi's normally neutral expression turn cold and he hurried to hide the papers from Eren's view. 

Eren didn't know what to say and remembered he was only wearing his boxers, he scratched the back of head nervously before standing to leave.

He hadn't expected Levi's cold arms to wrap around his waist, nor had expected to feel the warm wetness fall against his skin. 

Turning in Levi's arms he pulled the smaller man against his chest, holding him as the tears fell freely.

It broke his heart to see Levi like this and made a mental note to come down and check out what had actually made him cry later.

"Do you want to talk about it?"  
Levi shook his head and Eren sighed, Levi never really wanted to talk about himself. Letting the man go he pushed Levi back a little so his grip broke, before Levi could say anything he took him by the hand and lead him back up the stairs and up then further up until they were in Eren's room.

His bed was still unnamed and as he sank down into its comfort he pulled Levi with him. Curling up he kissed away Levi's tears and held him close until he finally started to calm.

He didn't know what to do or say so he just held him until he realised Levi had drifted off in his arms.

*  
He slipped out from Levi's grasp and headed back to the basement. He pushed his fear aside again, he needed to know why Levi was so upset.

Ignoring the washing machines chime he walked back to the corner Levi had been in.

The first thing he noticed was the rusty red stain across the concrete, it's obviously occurred a while ago.  
The second was the pile of brown boxes all from March but labeled from 2005-2015.  
The third thing was the fact that all these boxes had his name on them.

He panicked.   
Was Levi actually some how acquainted with his father? His stomach rolled and he pulled down the first box.

It was filled with sketches and photos, him and Levi smiling and in each other's arms, standing in the front this house. His fingers shook as he pulled out a small blue box and flipped the lid open. Matching gold bands. He slid out the first one and ran his fingers along it, it felt almost familiar. LA & EJ 05.

He forced the ring back into the box and set it aside. His mind spinning.  
The next was mixed news stories from April that year. Teen found murdered in basement. No photos or details. His hands shook. And his world turned white.

*  
Levi was smiling down at him so sadly when he woke next. He hadn't seen this room before and it took him a moment to realise he was in Levi's bedroom. His eyes flicked around trying to focus, before finally settling on a beautifully framed photo. It was a larger version of the one he'd found earlier.

None of this made sense to him and he couldn't calm down. He felt Levi gently lay his fingers upon his skin before applying gentle pressure and turning Eren's face back towards him.

"Did you remember?..."

Eren shook his head and Levi looked even sadder like it was expected. It hurt looking at him like that and he tried to joke that he wondered if Levi was a ghost and haunting him or something.

Levi shook his head as tears began to fall.  
"My dear sweet boy... I'm no ghost... it's been 11 years but I'm still alive..."

Eren didn't know what to make of this. It was almost like Levi was saying Eren was the ghost and he realised how stupid he'd been. There's no way ghost could be real.

Levi moved from his side and and opened his bedside draw, pulling out a small album.

Sitting back next to Eren he placed his arm around his shoulders and opened the album.

Photos and letters filled the album. Both of them young and happy, smiling so carefree.

"Levi... what is this?"

"Eren I'm not the one who died... you are... 11 years ago on your birthday you father killed you... you remember that right? It's why you scream in your sleep"

Eren scoffed and tried to move from Levi but the older man held him tighter.

"Levi I can touch you. I can feel you! You don't need to lie about this... I'm already here with you..."

He felt Levi shake head against him.

"It was our first anniversary, we got married as soon as we turned 18, it was also your 19th birthday and our 3 year anniversary. Grisha hated the fact you left but we were together so it didn't matter... you'd skipped class and we spent all morning in bed... we had dinner by candle light because we were both too poor to go out... our few savings went into this house. You were so happy that night... we both were..."  
Levi let out a shaky breath while Eren held his.  
"You decided we needed ice cream and I've never been able to say no to you... I knew something was wrong the moment I got home. Nothing was disturbed like in the movies, it was just so quiet. I called your name but you didn't answer... I remember my heart was pounding, I checked the bedrooms, the sun room, the kitchen... I kept calling your name over and over..."

Levi started crying again his whole body was shaking  
"I didn't think you'd be in the basement, you always hated the idea of them... you said they reminded you of Grisha but I still checked... I... I could smell the blood as soon as I opened the door. It was like a bad dream... oh god Eren there was so much blood..."

Eren didn't know what to do or say, it was like his senses were bathed in a heavy fog.  
"Grisha turned himself in later, he'd hated that he couldn't control you any more..."

Eren tried to focus enough to make a coherent sentence  
"Levi if all this is true why am I even here? If you know me this well you know I never believed in ghosts"  
"I don't know... god I wish I did... maybe then I could I keep you by my side... the first time it happened I thought I was going crazy... I thought the pain from losing you had pushed me over the edge but when March turned to April you disappeared again, it was like a dream. The only proof I had was the sketches you left behind. Every year since you died you'd come to me in March the first and you'd leave me again midnight April first. It's been this way for so many years now... I know I should let you go but I can't... even if it's for one month a year I get to have you to myself again..."

Eren moved closer to Levi he went to wipe the tears away but he felt his hand slide through the man.   
"Eren I have loved you from the moment I met you... I will always love you... I don't want to keep losing you"

Eren nodded, his whole body felt lighter and it was taking more and more effort to focus on Levi.  
"Each year you never remember. You're always so close but never mine to keep...what do I have to do to keep you by my side?"  
"Close your eyes..."

Reaching out Eren focused on his finger tips, this time they didn't pass through Levi and he was able to press his fingers to the man temples.

Levi whimpered but Eren pushed harder. He watched as the colour drained from Levi's face and then as he slumped sideways from Levi's touch.

He sat and watched as Levi slept. He knew the mans words to be true, when he'd touched Levi he'd remembered everything. He wondered why hadn't done this before. His touch had pulled all Levi's memories of him into im himself. When he awoke he wouldn't remember Eren at all. He hated himself. 

He loved this man with all his heart but he'd made him suffer for so many years. Now when Levi awoke he wouldn't remember Eren at all. His love would finally be able to move on.

He pressed a kiss to the mans lips as a final goodbye and let himself submit to the dog that had invaded his sense.


End file.
